It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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