she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
