hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
