Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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