awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
