I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
