Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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