Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
