Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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