Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize