Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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