I want to stick my p in your. b.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
