you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
