no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
