Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
