Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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