the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
