no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
