I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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