he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's like iHOP with fire
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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