You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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