At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
