great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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