Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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