I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
