Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I deserve this hangover.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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