worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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