My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
