I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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