dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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