His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
