Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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