dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
