your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
