You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Text me some of your sweat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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