She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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