Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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