Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
