yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
