White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
