Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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