I heard we made out
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
