Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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