Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
