I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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