I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
