everyone is single if you try hard enough
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
