i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
