I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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