Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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