Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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