Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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