I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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