would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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