Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
