so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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