If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
