i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
