I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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