who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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