my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
