i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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