I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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