I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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