I'm going to jail i love you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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