Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
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I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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