She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
