I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
