WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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