sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i think my cat just said my name.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
